Friday, June 5, 2009

A poem

I just thought I might share one of the family portrait poems I've done. Some of you may have seen this before, but some of you may not. Have a great weekend everyone.


worn

 

She looked faded,

like a comfortable old pair of jeans.

 

There was no vigor

in her halting marionette-like walk,

and her bosom hung emptily

on a rounded belly.

 

The right hand,

poised for its habitual cigarette,

shook from the awkward absence.

 

A fluff of whitened auburn

framed her sagging face

powdered with

expanded flecks of rust.

 

Her weary eyes hid

like saphires

in the folds of her face.

21 comments:

beth said...

Lovely. It reminds me of my grandmother.

Tess said...

Yes, lovely. Very well done. I'm curious to know who it is?

lotusgirl said...

Beth, thanks.

Tess, It is one of my aunts. It's funny. When my mother read it, she knew just who it was. I hadn't told her it was anyone in the family. She just recognized her. That made me feel like I had captured her.

Solvang Sherrie said...

Beautiful. Hope you have a nice weekend, too.

Yunaleska said...

Enjoy the weekend! Good poem :)

T. Anne said...

It's beautiful. Anyone in particular?

Cindy said...

I like that..."shook from the awkward absence". My mind could easily picture every image. That was excellent.

lotusgirl said...

Sherrie, Thanks.

Yuna, You too and thanks.

T. Anne. It's an aunt.

Cindy, I particularly like that line too. This poem is particularly visual to me. That's why I think of it as a portrait.

Pen Pen said...

THis was amazing!! Hello, Ms. Poet!!! :)

Danyelle said...

I love this. You have a wonderful way with words!

Crimogenic said...

Lotus, lovely. As I was reading, I was thinking, wow, I know a woman like that. The description is very personal and has a very familiar feel to it.

lotusgirl said...

Pen Pen, Hello! Glad you think so.

Danyelle, yea! That's what I'm working toward.

Crimey, I think many of us know a woman like that. To me it is a very personal tribute to a woman I loved.

Lady Glamis said...

Lois, you know I love this poem. Thank you for sharing it! It is beautiful. (And, might I dare add, a great character sketch for a future character in a novel?)

lotusgirl said...

Glam, I've thought about that. I may use it for that someday.

Kasie West said...

I'm one of those people who have never heard of these poems before so thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it very much. I formed the perfect picture of her through your words.

giddymomof6 said...

ooh! You have a real talent for this! i LOVED this word poem, it's awesome and so visual! Jenni

The Things We Carried said...

My gosh, you can really write!

lotusgirl said...

Kasie, I am so glad you could see her.

Jenni, Thanks, I'm very visual, as you know.

TTWC, Aw thanks. You are so kind.

Alyssa said...

Love it! The descriptions are wonderful! Which aunt?

Stacy Nyikos said...

Really moving. I'd never thought of doing character sketches/family portraits as poems. It's a great way to hone a person down to their real essence. Awesome.

lotusgirl said...

A, Thanks. It's Aunt Margaret

Stacy, Yeah, I started it as a descriptive paragraph and it morphed into a poem. It started me on a tangent.