I just thought I might share one of the family portrait poems I've done. Some of you may have seen this before, but some of you may not. Have a great weekend everyone.
worn
She looked faded,
like a comfortable old pair of jeans.
There was no vigor
in her halting marionette-like walk,
and her bosom hung emptily
on a rounded belly.
The right hand,
poised for its habitual cigarette,
shook from the awkward absence.
A fluff of whitened auburn
framed her sagging face
powdered with
expanded flecks of rust.
Her weary eyes hid
like saphires
in the folds of her face.
21 comments:
Lovely. It reminds me of my grandmother.
Yes, lovely. Very well done. I'm curious to know who it is?
Beth, thanks.
Tess, It is one of my aunts. It's funny. When my mother read it, she knew just who it was. I hadn't told her it was anyone in the family. She just recognized her. That made me feel like I had captured her.
Beautiful. Hope you have a nice weekend, too.
Enjoy the weekend! Good poem :)
It's beautiful. Anyone in particular?
I like that..."shook from the awkward absence". My mind could easily picture every image. That was excellent.
Sherrie, Thanks.
Yuna, You too and thanks.
T. Anne. It's an aunt.
Cindy, I particularly like that line too. This poem is particularly visual to me. That's why I think of it as a portrait.
THis was amazing!! Hello, Ms. Poet!!! :)
I love this. You have a wonderful way with words!
Lotus, lovely. As I was reading, I was thinking, wow, I know a woman like that. The description is very personal and has a very familiar feel to it.
Pen Pen, Hello! Glad you think so.
Danyelle, yea! That's what I'm working toward.
Crimey, I think many of us know a woman like that. To me it is a very personal tribute to a woman I loved.
Lois, you know I love this poem. Thank you for sharing it! It is beautiful. (And, might I dare add, a great character sketch for a future character in a novel?)
Glam, I've thought about that. I may use it for that someday.
I'm one of those people who have never heard of these poems before so thanks for sharing. I enjoyed it very much. I formed the perfect picture of her through your words.
ooh! You have a real talent for this! i LOVED this word poem, it's awesome and so visual! Jenni
My gosh, you can really write!
Kasie, I am so glad you could see her.
Jenni, Thanks, I'm very visual, as you know.
TTWC, Aw thanks. You are so kind.
Love it! The descriptions are wonderful! Which aunt?
Really moving. I'd never thought of doing character sketches/family portraits as poems. It's a great way to hone a person down to their real essence. Awesome.
A, Thanks. It's Aunt Margaret
Stacy, Yeah, I started it as a descriptive paragraph and it morphed into a poem. It started me on a tangent.
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